1. Respect Our Loyalty
2. Alone
3. This Fight We Fought
4. Embarrass Our Name
5. For All That He Has Done
6. Who Crowned You King
7. Come to Terms
8. Life Sucks
9. You Chose Your Own Fate
10. Your Hatred Dies With You
BRIEF REVIEW:
NO, I WILL NOT RESPECT YOUR LOYALTY. IN FACT, FUCK YOUR LOYALTY AND THIS FUCKING WEBSITE YOU STUPID ARROGANT TOUGH-GUY PRICKS, I'M GOING TO BECOME A JOURNALIST ONE DAY.
“TORNADO RIPS THROUGH A CEMENTARY, HUNDREDS DEAD”
A SERIES OF TORNADO FORMED DURING LAST NIGHT’S STORMY WEATHER MANAGED TO TEAR RIGHT THROUGH THE ROSA PARK CEMETERY NORTH OF NEW YORK CITY, LEAVING HUNDREDS OF DECEASED BODIES WITHIN THE CEMETERY PREMISE. THE DAMAGES DONE BY THIS RATHER UNEXPECTED NATURAL DISASTER WAS CONSIDERED TO BE ONE OF THE WORST TO HAVE OCCURRED IN OVER FIFTY YEARS IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK.
“IT WAS JUST HORRIBLE”, WAILED WHITNEY, A DRIVING-BY WITNESS ACCOUNT. “WE WERE JUST ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED BY WHAT WE SAW. ESPECIALLY RIDING IN A CONVERTIBLE WITH NO ROOF AS SHIELD, THE SITUATION WAS DANGEROUS TO US AS WELL.
“WE DIDN’T LEAVE THE DISASTER SCENE UNSCATHED, EITHER. WE LOST A DEAR FAMILY MEMBER DURING THE RAMPAGE. OUR BELOVED DOUG, THE FIFTH DOG THAT WE JUST PURCHASED FROM THE LOCAL PET STORE, WAS IMMEDIATELY SUCKED UP INTO THE AIR. IT WAS A TRAUMATIZING EXPERIENCE TO SEE SUCH A RECENT FAMILY MEMBER GO. I MEAN, WE [PARENTS AND GUARDIANS] AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BURY OUR YOUNGER ONES. ESPECIALLY IN A NOW-WRECKED CEMETERY”
THE PARAMEDICS HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCING EVERY DISCOVERED BODY TO BE DEAD UPON ARRIVAL.
THE PARAMEDICS HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCING EVERY DISCOVERED BODY TO BE DEAD UPON ARRIVAL.
“HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHETHER THEY WERE PREVIOUSLY DECEASED OR NEWLY DEAD? IT WAS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT FOR US TO DETERMINE WHETHER ANY OF THE BODIES WERE STILL ALIVE, PERIOD. REGARDLESS OF OUR CREDENTIALS.” EXPLAINED LIGAR TREBINKO, A PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL PERSONNEL ON THE SCENE. “LIKE ANY OTHER CORPORATIZED HEALTHCARE SYSTEMS, WE HOPE FOR AS LITTLE AMOUNT OF CASUALTIES AS POSSIBLE. BUT ONCE YOUR WALLET IS EMPTY AND WITHOUT IDENTIFICATION, WE ARE UNABLE TO VERIFY WHETHER YOUR HEALTH IS ACTUALLY INSURED UNDER A COVERAGE PLAN”.
THE PRESIDENT OF MOONYBROOKE HOSPITAL, CYCOL PATSY RELEASED A STATEMENT VIA A REQUESTED HOUSE CONFERENCE.
“ULTIMATELY, THIS HAS BEEN A TOUCHY ISSUE FOR PHILANTHROPISTS AND MEDICAL BUSINESSMEN ALIKE. SURE, PEOPLE DIE EVERY DAY. WE EXTEND OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES TO THEIR FAMILIES AND LOVED ONES. HOWEVER, IF ANY CURRENT EVENTS HAVE TAUGHT US THROUGHOUT THE PAST WEEK, IT IS THAT NATURAL DISASTERS OCCUR AT ALL TIMES. WE, AS UNIONIZED MEMBERS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION ON THE OTHER END, ALSO HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT WE MAKE ENDS MEET IN ORDER TO SUFFICIENTLY AFFORD TO PAY BILLS AND PLACE FOOD ON THE TABLE.”
PATSY STATES AS HE RIDES AWAY IN HIS BMW FOR A GOLF TOURNAMENT.
INVESTIGATORS ARE ALSO SEEKING FOR THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR “POTENTIAL CRIME SCENES”. “WE CAN NEVER BE FULLY CERTAIN WHETHER THE MISSING GRAVES AND THE PECULIAR CARCASSES IMPALED ON SOME TREE BRANCHES ARE THE CAUSE OF EITHER THE NATURAL DISASTER, OR ACTS OF GRAVE-ROBBING AND HOMICIDES”, STATES CONE PHUSED, THE CHIEF OFFICER OF THE INVESTIGATION. “HOWEVER, IF ANYONE HAS ANY INFORMATION ON THOSE POTENTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY POSSIBLE CRIMINAL DEEDS, PLEASE CALL YOUR LOCAL CRIME STOPPER BRANCH IMMEDIATELY.”
THE MAYOR COULD NOT BE REACHED FOR COMMENT AT THIS CURRENT TIME REGARDING THE TRAVESTY. A SECRETARY INFORMS MIDNIGHT GLOBE THAT HE MAY BE STILL ON A VACATION IN HAITI.
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