HACKSAW TO THE THROAT - TEAR MY EYES OUT

1. My Eyes Are Open 03:04 

2. Fall 03:15 

3. Dilated 05:52 

4. Decayed 03:39 

5. Failed Existence 03:46 

6. Consumed In Nothing 03:13 

7. Silence (There Lies These Truths) 04:10 

8. Illusion Of Life 02:02 

9. Alone In The End 05:50 

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BRIEF REVIEW:

I AM A BIG FUZZY POLAR BEAR AND I LIKE TO SUCK DICKS EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT TO CELEBRATE MY JOY OF SURVIVING THROUGH ANOTHER WEEK WITHOUT THE URGE TO SUCCESSFULLY COMMIT SUICIDE. I'M SUCH A USELESS FAGGOT THAT MOST OF THE TIMES WHEN I DO COMMIT SUICIDE, I FAIL TO SUCCEED... LIKE THE TIME WHEN I TRIED TO SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FUCKING FACE, ONLY JIZZ CAME OUT OF MY STROKED PENIS. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW SUICIDE CAN BE SO DIFFICULT UNTIL I GOT MY HANDS ON THIS FAGGOT ALBUM. I LEARNED THAT BY BRINGING A HACKSAW ACROSS MY THROAT, I CAN FINALLY PAINLESSLY KILL MYSELF. THANK YOU FOR PRESENTING ME THIS ADVICE BY USING THE GAYEST BAND NAME IN THE WORLD FAGGOTS! ONE LESS WEBMASTER PLAGUING THE INTERNET WITH THIS FUCKING STUPID WASTE OF SPACE!

I'M SO SICK OF THIS WEBSITE I ALMOST DIDN'T PUMP IN ANOTHER TEN BUCKS TO MAINTAIN THE DOMAIN FOR ANOTHER YEAR. I WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER INVESTING MORE INTO THE WARRANTY OF THIS DOMAIN IF I DIDN'T SPEND ALL MY MONEY ORDERING SCRAWNY ETHIOPIAN HOOKERS AND SNORTING SPECIAL KETAMINE ALL WEEK LONG. THAT'S RIGHT FAGGOTS, NOT JUST ANY KETAMINE ... BUT SPECIAL KETAMINE! WITH THIS SHIT GOING UP MY NASAL TUBE, BREATHING UP MY NOSE IS NOW OFFICIALLY A CHORE. WHO WANTS TO PICK MY FAGGOT NOSE FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO POST ONE "BRIEF REVIEW" OF AN ALBUM?

MY LIFE IS SO FUCKING SAD IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY, THAT SOME DAYS I ENVISION COMMITTING SUICIDE BY RUNNING AN ACTIVE CHAINSAW THROUGH MY NECK AS FAST AS I CAN. IMAGINE HOW SUCCESSFUL SUCH A DEATH WOULD BE ... PAINLESS OR NON-PAINLESS? SOMEBODY PUT MY THEORY TO THE TEST AND THEN POST BACK HERE IN ORDER TO TELL ME HOW EFFECTIVE IT IS. 

BETTER YET RUN THAT CHAINSAW UP YOUR FUCKING ANUS FOR YOUR UNINHIBITED SODOMIZING PLEASURE YOU FUCKING FAGGGOTS

WHENEVER THERE'S A MAJOR PROBLEM IN LIFE, I FIND SUICIDE TO ALWAYS WORK EFFECTIVELY WELL 

Burnt by the Sun - Self Titled

 

1. Buffy     2:04   

2. You Will Move    2:38   

3. Lizard-Skin Barbie    2:00   

4. The Fish Under The Sea Dance    1:53

ACQUIRE ALBUM VIA MEDIAFIRE 

BRIEF REVIEW:

ONCE MY RETINA WAS BURNT BY THE SUN WHEN I WAS PRACTICING THE SAVAGE AFRICAN RITUAL OF STARING AT THAT SHIT FOR FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT. THAT WAS WHEN I REALIZED I BECAME LEGALLY BLIND FOR SOME REASON. WHY?! I THOUGHT BARBARIAN NIGGERS HAD THE MOST ADVANCED SPIRITUAL PRACTICES THAT THE WEST COULDN'T HAVE EVER DEVELOPED? FIGHT ME YOU FAGGOTS. EXCEPT I CAN'T SEE NOW, SO FIGHTING ME WOULD BE LIKE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HELEN KELLER. WAH-TAR? WAHH-TARRRR?


HAHAHAHA WHAT A DYSFUNCTIONAL BITCH. I WONDER HOW SHE WAS ABLE TO WORK IN THE KITCHEN LIKE HER GENDER OBLIGES HER TO DO, WITHOUT STUMBLING ALL OVER THE PLACE AND MIXING THE WRONG INGREDIENTS INTO EVERYTHING. I SWEAR IF SHE EVEN REMOTELY FUCKED UP ON MY CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP, I'D SHOVE HER HEAD INTO AN OVEN FOR FORTY-FIVE MINUTES ON MAX THAT DUMB USELESS FUCK. I HATE HOW THESE LIBERAL BLEEDING HEARTS ARE TRYING TO PORTRAY HER AS SOMETHING MORE THAN THE HANDICAPPED TOOL SHE REALLY IS. DID SHE FINALLY LEARN TO SPEAK BY FEELING THE MOVEMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S TONGUES? HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU EVEN SPEAK IF YOU'RE FUCKING DEAF YOURSELF YOU FUCKING OVERRATED ANIMAL? IF I COULDN'T SEE, HEAR, OR SPEAK IN MY MISERABLE EXISTENCE, I MIGHT AS WELL POINT A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN TO MY USELESS FACE AND SHOOT IT OFF. (EXCEPT IT WOULD OBVIOUSLY TAKE A FEW MORE TRIES THAN JUST ONCE CONSIDERING YOU CAN'T HAVE HAND-TO-EYE COORDINATION IF YOU DON'T HAVE EYES. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKER.)

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WROTE BOOKS, AND EVEN DID PUBLIC SPEAKINGS IN FRONT OF REAL HUMANS UNLIKE HER. I BET THE ONLY PUBLIC SPEAKING SHE DID WAS IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF NIGGERS, WHO ADMIRED HER NOT FOR HER INCOHERENT PSEUDO "SPEAKING" SKILLS, BUT ONLY FOR HER DISPLAY OF SEXUALLY ANIMALISTIC CHARACTERISTICS. THEY ALL PROCEED TO RAPE HER VIOLENTLY WHEREAS SHE PUSHED LITTLE DEFORMED AND GROTESQUE HALF-NIGGER BABIES NINE MONTHS AFTER WHICH SHE NAMED AFTER HER GAY COLLECTION OF ROCKS.

I WENT ON A DATE WITH HELEN KELLER ONCE, WE WENT TO THE MOVIES. SHE DIDN'T COMPLAIN THAT I TOOK HER TO A VIOLENT EXPLOITATION FILM FEATURING THE BUTCHERY OF FEMALES (CONSIDERING SHE HAD NO VISUAL OR HEARING CAPACITY WHICH WAS AWESOME.) IF ONLY ALL BITCHES IN THE WORLD CAN BE LIKE THAT! AS MY FINGER SLID RIGHT INTO HER NASTY ASS PANTIES, I BEGAN FINGERING THE SHIT OUT OF HER. SHE FAILED TO RECOGNIZE THAT ROUTINE, AS SHE BEGAN PANICKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE THEATER. IN A FRANTIC ATTEMPT TO CALM HER DOWN, I HIT HER OVER THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL AND THEN RAPED HER ALL OVER AGAIN ONLY TO REALIZE HER WATER JUST BROKE THEN AND ANOTHER HALF-NIGGER BABY WAS ABOUT TO COME OUT, NINE MONTHS AFTER HER MOST RECENT PUBLIC SPEAKING CEREMONY.

WAH-TARRR? WAH-TARRRRRR?

HAHAHAHAHA

Anodyne - Lifetime Of Gray Skies

1. Arctor

2. Carnot Engine

3. Portable Crematorium

4. Zero World

5. Infernal Machine

6. Mind Is a Terrible Thing

7. Plastic Will

8. Against Architecture

9. In the Desert Sound Precedes Sight

10. Blood Meridian

11. Philosophy of Failure

12. From the End of the World

13. Standing on the Beach

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BRIEF REVIEW:

A LIFETIME OF GRAY SKIES? THAT'S REALLY FUCKING SAD. TO MAKE THINGS MORE PLEASANT, THEY SHOULD BE MORE LIKE A LIFETIME OF GAY SKIES RAINING SPERM STRAIGHT INTO MY FAGGOT MOUTH. THAT'S MORE LIKE AN ALBUM TITLE. IF I LIVED UNDER A LIFETIME OF GRAY SKIES I'D PROBABLY HANG MYSELF IN THE CORNER OF A GREENHOUSE WITH ALL THE DEAD PLANTS WITHIN YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS. SOMETIMES I LOOK AT A BUNCH OF VEGETABLES AND I CRY OVER HOW THEIR STAGNANT LIFE IS MORE WORTHY OF LIVING THAN MY OWN. BWAHHH!! MAY I BORROW A TISSUE FROM ONE OF YOU EMO FAGGOTS CURRENTLY VIEWING MY WEBSITE PLEASE?

SOMETIMES I GET MAD AT LIFE DUE TO MY LACK OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS, BEING A FAT NO-LIFE LOSER WHO SITS HOME AND JERKS OFF MY PENIS TO WEIRD UNDERAGED FOOT-FETISH PORNOGRAPHY HOSTED FROM UNDERGROUND SERVERS OF KAZAKHSTAN. IN AMIDST OF MY MADNESS, I GO CARJACK A PUBLIC VEHICLE AND GO ON A STREET RAMPAGE. THE ONLY ISSUE IS THE VEHICLE I FUCKING GTA'D IS A FUCKING STREETCAR. HOW THE HELL CAN I POSSIBLY STEER THE TRACK OF A FUCKING STREETCAR AWAY FROM THE CHASE OF COPS?!  THIS IS UNBELIEVABLY PUZZLING. AS I STEP ON THE ACCELERATOR PEDAL, THERE ARE FIVE COP VEHICLES FLASHING RIGHT BEHIND ME FOR THE WORLD GUINNESS RECORD OF THE SLOWEST CHASE IN THE SLOWEST FUCKING POLICE PURSUIT OF MANKIND. THE FUCKING  VEHICLE CHASE WAS SO SLOW THAT I FELL INTO A COMA BEFORE RUNNING INTO 10,000 HAGGY GRANDMOTHERS CROSSING THE STREET. TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING DUMBASS AGING FAGGOTS, I'LL HELP YOU ASSHOLES TO STOP AGING BEFORE YOU ALL ARE SOMEHOW OBLIGATED TO BE PUT UNDER GAY ASS "RETIREMENT HOMES" THAT ARE FUNDED BY THE STATE'S TAXPAYER'S MONEY, LIVING OFF EXPENSES PAID BY UNEMPLOYED ASSHOLES LIKE MYSELF!

WHERE THE HELL DO I GO WITH A STREET CAR IN A POLICE CHASE WHEN ALL THE ROUTES ARE FUCKING FIXED BY RAILWAYS? I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW! AS I ARRIVED BEFORE A FORK AND REQUIRED TO MAKE AN EMERGENCY RIGHT FROM THE OTHERWISE STRAIGHT ROUTE THAT THE STREETCAR WAS DESIGNATED TO RUN ON, I REALIZED I HAD TO CHANGE COURSE. HAVING NO ELECTRIC SWITCH TO ALTER THE TURNING LEVER ON THE TRACK, I HAD TO EXIT THE STREET CAR WITH A METALLIC STICK TO CHANGE THE LOCK ON THE TRACKS. THE COPS JUST FUCKING STOOD THERE AND GAWKED AT ME IN DUMBFOUNDEDNESS. DON'T BE JEALOUS THAT I'M SEXY YOU FUCKING FAT HONKEY LAW ENFORCEMENT FAGGOTS! I WAS SO AWESOME I EVEN TOOK A DUMP RIGHT ON ONE OF THEIR VEHICLE'S WINDSHIELDS. IN DEFENCE, THEY ACTIVATED THEIR WINDSHIELD WIPERS THAT BRUSHED THROUGH MY VILE CORNS OF SHIT AND SPLATTERED OVER A DOZEN OF NIGGER CHILDREN WHICH SUBSEQUENTLY MADE THEM BLACKER THAN THEIR UNFORTUNATE COLOUR ALREADY WAS.

THE TRANSIT COMMISSION'S CHAIRMAN FINALLY HAD ENOUGH AND DECIDED TO BLACK OUT THE ELECTRICITY FOR THE CITY AND THUS PUTTING A STOP TO MY SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTE RAMPAGE (MINUS THE SHIT I TOOK, OF COURSE).  CONSIDERING THE WHOLE CITY WAS IN BLACKOUT, I PROCEEDED TO ROB A JAMAICAN CONVENIENCE STORE OF ALL OF ITS AIDS AND PLACED IT IN A BOX THAT'S SENT TO HAITI FOR EARTHQUAKE RELIEF. HAHAHA I HOPE I GET A THANK YOU LETTER FROM THE RED CROSS OR SOMETHING!

YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCK IN HELL

GIVEN WITH HONOR - LAST TO DIE

01 Tri state shooting spree
02 for you

03 drought
04 Forever

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BRIEF REVIEW:

"GIVEN WITH HONOR"... SOUNDS LIKE THE OLD DAYS WHEN I FOUGHT IN VIETNAM CENTURIES AGO. YOU FUCKING FAGGOT YOUNG KIDS NOWADAYS HAVE NO RESPECT OF THE FREEDOM AND LIBERTY THAT YOU'RE PRIVILEGED ENOUGH TO ENJOY IN THIS DAY AND ERA. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I HAD TO DISSECT A SHEEP FOR ITS INTESTINES IN ORDER TO WRAP AROUND MY FUCKING DICK JUST TO PRACTICE SAFE SEX YOU FUCKING UNGRATEFUL FAGGOTS. WHEN I TURNED TWENTY TWO, THE GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES CONSCRIPTED ME TO FIGHT A STUPID PROXY WAR IN VIETNAM AGAINST COMMUNISM IN ORDER TO KEEP MY BODY FROM GAINING THE EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT THAT I INEVITABLY GAINED NOW ANYWAYS. THEY SAID IT WAS TO ENFORCE THE NATION'S DUMBASS IDEOLOGIES, BUT I THOUGHT OF IT WAS A FUN EXPERIENCE TO FUCKING SHOOT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF SLANTY-EYED GOOKS THAT ARE OVERPOPULATED ANYWAYS. I FIGURED THIS MUCH: IS VIETNAM POSSIBLY WORRIED ABOUT LOSING ITS CULTURE DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEIR HOMOSEXUAL POPULATION HAS BEEN DRASTICALLY REDUCED AFTER THE LOST WAR? I GOT A GREAT IDEA! JUST IMPORT FIFTY MILLION CHINKS FROM NORTH ACROSS THEIR BORDER AND FORCIBLY ASSIMILATE THEM WITH THE INSTITUTIONALLY PREDOMINANT CULTURE, JUST LIKE WHAT THE BRILLIANT EUROPEANS DID TO THE DUMBASS SAVAGE NATIVES HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO! HOLY SHIT, WHITE MEN WERE SO BRILLIANT. UNTIL MICHAEL MOORE CAME IN. DEAR MICHAEL MOORE: GET SHOT YOU FUCKING DISGRACEFULLY FAT SOCIALIST HIPPIE.


KIDS THESE DAYS LIVE AS IF THEY ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR FREEDOM THAT'S HANDED TO THEM ON A SILVER PLATTER. I FUCKING DIED THREE TIMES IN THOSE GAY ASS ASIAN COUNTRIES FROM BEING REPETITIVELY SHOT IN THE HEAD BY SOME CHINKY PILOT WITH RIDICULOUSLY GOOD MATHEMATIC SKILLS. FUCKING CHINKS ... I WONDER HOW THEY CAN EXCEL IN ALL TYPES OF MACHINERIES BUT YET CANNOT BACK THEIR OWN FUCKING HONDA CIVIC OUT OF THEIR GARAGES. LAST TIME I GOT HIT BY MR. WONG AS HE REAR-ENDED ME IN A GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT I TIED HIM UP AND SOLD HIM BACK TO THE TRIADS FOR TIRTY TREE DORRAHS, ONLY TO PAY IT BACK TO HIS WIFE THAT NIGHT WHEN I PAID FOR HER PROSTITUTION SERVICE. HOLY CRAP, NO WONDER WHY CHINA'S HOLDING THE CENTRAL MONOPOLY TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY THIS DAY AND AGE. BRACE OURSELVES BOYS AND GIRLS, THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO GET MORE YELLOW.

P.S. STFU YOU DUMB INDONESIAN GOOKS

ENTER SHIKARI - TAKE TO THE SKIES

01 "Stand Your Ground / This Is Ancient Land" - 1:08
02 "Enter Shikari" - 2:52
03 "Mothership" - 4:30
04 "Anything Can Happen in the Next Half Hour..." - 4:32
05 "Interlude" - 1:01
06 "Labyrinth" - 3:51
07 "No Swweat" - 3:16
08 "Today Won’t Go Down in History" - 3:34
09 "Interlude" - 1:28
10 "Return to Energiser" - 4:35
11 "Interlude" - 0:18
12 "Sorry You're Not a Winner" - 3:32
13 "Interlude" - 0:35
14 "Johnny Sniper" 4:01
15 "Adieu" - 5:40
16 "OK Time for Plan B" - 4:55
17 "Closing" - 2:44

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BRIEF REVIEW:

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, INTRODUCING ENTER SHITKARI, A PRODUCT OF THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY NU-ELECTRO SCREAMOPOP BULLSHIT THAT'S SO FUCKING DEPRIVED OF HETEROSEXUALITY THAT IT WOULD PUMP YOUR CHEST ABS INTO A PAIR OF FUCKING MAN BOOBIES! WHOEVER SAID BREASTFEEDING WASN'T POSSIBLE DEFINITELY DID NOT EVER HAVE TO TOLERATE THIS FUCKING HORRID ALBUM. EVERY TIME THE KEYBOARD PLAYER PRESSES A KEY ON HIS GAY FUCKING SYNTH MACHINE I FEEL THE NEED TO OVULATE ALL OVER AGAIN. WHY MUST YOU FUCK UP MY OTHERWISE HEALTHY MENSTRUAL CYCLES YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS? ALL THIS BIRTH CONTROL I'VE BEEN TAKING DUE TO THE FEAR OF PREGNANCY FROM AUTO-EJACULATING INTO MY OWN ASSHOLE HAS BEEN INDUCING SIDE-EFFECTS, INVOLVING BUT NOT LIMITED TO CONSTIPATION OF MENSTRUAL BLOOD AND THE GROWTH OF A VAGINAL CAVE WHERE THE SENSITIVE REGION BELOW MY SCROTUM IS SUPPOSED TO BE. THIS IS A PAINFUL EXPERIENCE FOR ALL WHO ARE UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO SUFFER, MAINLY MYSELF!

IF I AM TO BECOME A WOMAN, I MIGHT AS WELL BE A FUCKING COMMUNIST TOO AND TURN THIS WORLD INTO AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING DISASTER LIKE WHAT THE WAR-TORN EAST EUROPE HAD BEEN THROUGHOUT THE PAST CENTURY. I KNOW SOCIALISM HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER EQUALITY, BUT THE MINUTE A WOMAN POSSIBLY COMES IN POWER, THE FUCKING WORLD DESCENDS TO FUCKING SHIT. THANKS TO THIS RADICAL BULLSHIT WE CALL FEMINISM, THE WORLD NOW BELIEVES THIS FALSE LIBERAL-BRAINWASHING PROPAGANDA THAT ALL GENDERS ARE BALANCED AND IT IS BECAUSE OF A PATRIARCHAL HIERARCHY THAT MEN AND WOMEN CLAIM DIFFERENT POLITICAL AND SOCIAL STRATIFICATIONS. YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? GET THE FUCK BACK INTO THE KITCHEN YOU USELESS LITTLE DUCK-LIKE FEMMES, IF DARWIN WAS STILL ALIVE, HE WOULD STOMP YOUR STUPID BACKWARDS EGALITARIAN IDEOLOGIES FLAT AND RAPE EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FUCKING IDIOTIC ANIMALS.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NOW INVESTING AND PAYING FOR A COLLECTIVE OF "LIBERAL ARTS" EDUCATION THAT FAILS TO REFLECT THE BIOLOGICAL RANKINGS OF GENDERS AND SPECIES. ENTER ANY WESTERN PRO-MARXIST "ACADEMIC INSTITUTIONS" TODAY AND YOU'LL SINGLE-HANDEDLY WITNESS CLASSES FULL OF DUMBASS BIMBO BLONDE DYKES TAKING COURSES IN COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS AND LAUGHABLE DISCIPLINES LIKE "SOCIOLOGY" AND "WOMEN STUDIES". HAHAHAHAHA. EXCUSE ME WHILE I PISS PANTS AND THEN FORCE YOU TO CLEAN IT AT GUNPOINT YOU STUPID LAUGHABLE SHEEP. IT'S ONE THING TO FEEL "EMPOWERED" AS A WAY TO RETALIATE AGAINST THE MALE-DOMINANT SOCIO-CULTURAL INSTITUTIONS, BUT JUST KNOW YOU'RE PAYING FORTY GRAND TO RECEIVE A DIPLOMA THAT BASICALLY UNDER-PRINTS "I AM A HUGE USELESS FUCKING GOOF WHO WASTED FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE BEING A HUGE SKANK AND PROUD OF IT."

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS DAY AND AGE OF POST-MODERNIST PHILOSOPHIES. BACK IN THE OLD DAYS, STUDENTS WERE AMBITIOUS TO BECOME DOCTORS, PHYSICISTS, AND SCIENTISTS. NOWADAYS EVERYBODY FLAUNTS THEIR FUCKING CASH TO PAY FOR A "SOCIAL SCIENCE" DEGREE WITH "NORMATIVE VALUES" (LOL) WHICH COMPLETELY DEFIES THE NATURAL EQUILIBRIUM OF HOW THIS WORLD WORKS. HEY FEMINISTS, EVER HEARD OF SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST? GO TOUCH MY WEINER WITH CAREFUL ERGONOMIC PRECISION BEFORE I STOMP YOUR TITS FLAT.

I LOVE WOMEN

GIRLS WHO RUN - LAMBGOAT PEOPLE

01 TWO DEGREES BELOW

02 AMBER

03 XANNEBOWMANX

04 INKONGUDUNK & TODIEFOR

05 SHAOLINLAMBKILLER

06 SAY10ORDIE

07 EVAMARIE

08 SIFL

09 AMANDA MICHELLE

10 SEKIO

11 RAVENOUSMURDER

12 THE SHOUT OUTS SONG (PART ONE)

13 XANDREW FROM DENVERX

14 TWELVE GAYGE VALENTINE

15 ENVIRONMENT

16 BRAVEDENER

17 XSHAT_CREWX BEATDOWN

18 HARKIN RULES!

19 HOOKER

20 PLEASEDIE

21 GOD & DIE DIE DIE

22 NOTME

23 SUFFER

24 HURRICANT

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BRIEF REVIEW:

IT ABSOLUTELY DEFIES LOGIC WHY I WOULD EVER BOTHER TO PUT A DEAD AND OBSOLETE MUSIC PROJECT THAT WAS A TRIBUTE TO WHAT IS BY FAR THE GAYEST ATROCITY ON THE NET OTHERWISE UNFORTUNATELY KNOWN AS "LAMBGOAT.COM". IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LAMBGOAT IS, CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING BORN JUST YESTERDAY AND THUS PROBABLY ENJOY LISTENING TO DEATHCORE AS WELL YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS, ALLOW ME TO TAKE MY SWEET FUCKING TIMES IN MY CURRENTLY OLD-AND-LONELY WIDOW DAYS AND EXPLAIN TO YOU FUCKING GRANDSONS WHAT THIS ABSURDITY IS ABOUT. 

WHAT IS NOW AN EXTREMELY VILE PIT OF HERMAPHRODITES THAT COMPRISE OF LAMBGOAT WAS ONCE AN INTERNET OUTLET FOR HARDCORE AND ALBUMS NEWS AND REVIEWS. OVER THE YEARS DUE ITS SUCCESSFUL WEB DEVELOPMENT AND PROMOTION (BUT PERHAPS MAINLY LUCK), THE WEBSITE'S ENTREPRENEURIAL FORUM EXPANDED TO BE ONE OF THE MOST CLAUSTROPHOBICALLY GROTESQUE MESSAGE BOARDS OF THE NET. POPULATED BY MAINLY DISGRUNTLED METALHEAD OGRES AND HARDCORE TOUGH-GUYS ALL OVER THE WORLD ALIKE, THIS WEBSITE IS NOW THE LARGEST SOCIAL GATHERING OF CONSISTING OF SEXUALLY-DEPRIVED AND OVERWEIGHT VIRGIN FAGGOTS ELICITING UPON EACH OTHER THE HOSTILITIES DERIVED FROM THEIR VARIOUS SOCIAL/SEXUAL INADEQUACIES IN REAL LIFE. AS IF THIS ISN'T PATHETICALLY ABSURD ENOUGH, THE SO-CALLED "LAMBGOAT SUB-CULTURE" HAS BEEN SPREADING LIKE UNPROTECTED SEXUAL PLAGUES IN UGANDA, CONSUMING EVERYTHING REMOTELY HETEROSEXUAL OR RATIONAL IN THE HEADLINES OF CURRENT EVENTS IN RELATION TO METAL AND HARDCORE WITH PAINFULLY BLAND INSULTS AND GIMMICKS. NO DEROGATORY CRITICISM WOULD BE COMPLETE WITHOUT THE REDUNDANT OVERUSE OF THE WORD "FAGGOT", A VERSATILE NOUN/ADJECTIVE/VERB THAT STRIKES INTO HEART OF THE MOST SENSITIVE AND SELF-CONSCIOUSLY NAIVE NEWBIES AND DISCOURAGING THEM FROM EVER VISITING THE FAGGOT WEBSITE AGAIN. HOW ABOUT YOU OLD REGULARS GO DWEP YOUR LIVES IN AN AIDS-INFESTED FIRE YOU FUCKING USELESS FAGGOTS?

JUST LIKE ANY OTHER RIDICULOUS ELITE HIERARCHAL MEMBERSHIP-BASED INTERNET CULTS, YOUR QUALITY OF POSTS DEFINITELY DO NOT MATTER IN CONTRAST TO YOUR NUMBER OF POSTS AND MEMBERSHIP SENIORITY. YOU CAN POST A VALID POST-SECONDARY PHD THESIS ABOUT THE SOCIOLOGICAL FAGGOTRY OF THE METAL SCENE,  AND YOU'LL STILL BE FLAMED AND LABELLED AS A RAMPANT HOMOSEXUAL BY MOST. BUT, WHEREAS IF SOME FUCKING OLD-SCHOOL DICKHEAD LIKE XSHAT_CREWX OR CKK COMES IN AND DESCRIBES THE TEXTURE OF HIS MOST RECENT DUMP, THE POST IMMEDIATELY BECOMES A MASTERPIECE AS IT'S HIGHJACKED BY 100+ REPLIES. THANKFULLY THOSE ARE THE SAME POSTS THAT HELP ME GET BY MY UNEVENTFUL DAYS, AS THEY'RE EXTREMELY LOVELY AND STIMULATING FOR MY FUCKING APPETITE FOR I AM THE FAT OGRE AND ENDURING THROUGH MIDDLE AGE MASTURBATING TO R. KELLY YOUTUBE VIDEOS. AND PERHAPS THIS IS WHY I LOATHE THE LAMBGOAT COMMUNITY SO MUCH, BECAUSE EVERY TIME I LURK SOME REGULAR FAGGOT'S PROFILE IT REMINDS ME OF HOW INSIGNIFICANT AND UNWORTHY OF LIVING MY OWN GODDAMN LIFE IS. WILL SOMEBODY RECOMMEND SOME SOCIALIZED THERAPY FOR MY POOR IMPOVERISHED ASS PLEASE? GIVE AT LEAST SOME CARE EVER ... PRETTY PLEASE?

JUST AS YOU THINK EVERYTHING CANNOT POSSIBLY GET ANY GAYER, THIS SOLO PROJECT IS RELEASED IN TRIBUTE TO THAT INTOLERABLE SHITHOLE COMMUNITY! MAJORITY OF THESE HORRENDOUS SONGS ARE BASED ON SERENADING THE RESPECTIVE MEMBER(S) INDICATED BY THE SONG NAME. JUST LIKE THE MEMBERS THE TITLES REPRESENT, THESE TRACKS ARE SOME OF THE WORST FUCKING ANNOYANCES POSSIBLY KNOWN TO MANKIND. THE FACT THAT THIS ALBUM SUCKS ASS IS NOTHING SHORT OF IRONIC BECAUSE IT'S COMPOSED AND REPRESENTED BY ITS ELITIST-MEMBERS WHO ARE ALSO OVERLY CRITICAL OF FUCKING SHITTY MUSIC. HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT, , YOU FUCKING NO_INNOCENT_HYPOCRITES! I DON'T UNDERSTAND ... WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU FAGGOTS GO GET A SECOND JOB, JOIN THE ARMY AND STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW YOUR MINIMUM WAGE BECAUSE TOP RAMEN'S AREN'T ACTUALLY THAT BAD OF FOOD?

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD LITTLE BOYS ... MOMMY AND DADDY AIN'T GONNA SUPPORT YOU ALL YOUR LIFE

SHIT POST

GIGANTIC BRAIN - THE INVASION DISCOGRAPHY

1. Negotiations Lead to Instant Death (The Government is Obliterated)
2. The Humans Military Confidence Lead to the Death of Them All
3. The Most Gruesome Scene in the History of Mankind
4. UnderPiglet Crawls the Earth at High Speeds Eating Anything with a Heartbeat
5. In the Beginning
6. Burrowed in Bodies
7. The Eight Horned Beast
8. The Grizzly Impalement, One by One
9. Our Armies Fail
10. Dehumanize (Ninja Gaiden NES cover)
11. We Become the Earth (The First Stampede) - (Castlevania NES cover)
12. My Family, Crushed (The Second Stampede)
13. Not a Beating Heart, Not a Babies Cry
14. Cities, Shelled Out
15. Exo-Brain
16. Exo-Destroyer
17. Exo-Girl
18. Ingrin the Freak (Sequel to Track 42 - Dungeon Freak)
19. Oh My God
20. Failure 01
21. Failure 02
22. Failure 03
23. Failure 04
24. Failure 05
25. Failure 06
26. Failure 07
27. Animal Implant
28. The Last Supper
29. Invasion
30. Bio-Casualties Inflicted by the Overlord
31. The House of Feasting (Agoraphobic Nosebleed Cover)
32. Total Humanoid Meltdown
33. Ashes Fly, Like Butterflies
34. Devoured for Science
35. Puddles of Green
36. Pump Action Decapitator
37. Phillips Head Face Lifter
38. Spiral Blood Stain
39. One Small Town for Research
40. Cheerleader Holocaust
41. Creature Made of Bone
42. Dungeon Freak
43. Early Funeral
44. Emotionally Unstable Mother of Four
45. Finishing The Cake
46. Hacksaw Kid
47. Monopoly Money Millionaire
48. My Aftermath
49. No One Loves You
50. Obey The Brain
51. Obliterated by the Super Train
52. Pigs In Space
53. The Impaler Prince
54. The Third Brand of Human
55. Ulta-Maniac, Steve
56. Together, We Make a Family
57. Tech-Battle (Gigantic Brain playing over real drums)
58. Intestinal Pott Pie (newer version)
59. Intestinal Pott Pie (older version)
60. Incredibly Deranged Piglet
61. Tickling the Exit Wound
62. Panty
63. Its Been Sick.. So I Tried to Feed It More 

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BRIEF REVIEW:

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DRUM-PROGRAMMED BULLSHIT MONSTROSITY?

DECADES AGO WHEN I WAS YOUR STUPID SPOILED-BRATTY AGE, MUSIC ACTUALLY HAD TO BE COMPOSED THROUGH COLLABORATION OF INSTRUMENTS. BUT NOPE, NOT TODAY THANKS TO THE ADVANCEMENT OF MACINTOSH-BASED APPLE-LECTRONIC RECORDING SOFTWARES SUCH AS LOGIC AND PRO TOOLS, WHICH ENCOURAGES YOU TO PROGRAM YOUR OWN FUCKING BULLSHIT DRUM TRACKS THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EPILEPTIC BASTARD-CHILD TAKING A PISS WHILE POSSESSED BY DEMONIC OVERLORDS. STOP YOUR ELECTRONIC CYBER-GRIND BULLSHIT, AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED IS NOT PROUD OF YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS FOR COMPOSING SIXTY THREE TRACKS OVER THE COURSE OF ONE NIGHT, MAKING THE WHOLE ALBUM LAST ABOUT A TOTAL OF TWENTY MINUTES. LET'S MAKE YOUR LIFE LAST FOR ALMOST AS LONG AS THAT STARTING FROM ... NOW! START HOLDING YOUR BREATH YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE MOST OF THESE "ARTISTS" ACTUALLY PRONOUNCE THEMSELVES AS MUSICIANS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THEIR MOTHER ASKS THEM WHY IT IS THAT SOMEONE IN THEIR MID-TWENTIES REFUSE TO GO OUT AND GET A DEGREE OR A JOB, AND THEIR RESPONSE IS SOMEWHAT ALONG THE LINES OF "I AM AN ASPIRING AVANT-GARDE EXPERIMENTAL MUSICIAN, POSSIBLY DREAMING OF HITTING IT UP IN HOLLYWOOD ONE DAY IF MY PARENTS ARE SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH TO INVEST IN MY ARTISTIC ENDEAVORS." HOLY FUCKING PATHETIC LOSERS. START BEING ABLE TO AFFORD YOUR OWN GROCERIES YOU STUPID, SPOILED PARASITIC LEECHERS. THAT'S LIKE MY FANTASIZING ON MAKING MONEY OFF THIS GAY ASS WEBSITE I RUN... WHICH WAS GOING VERY WELL UNTIL I RECEIVED A SANCTION LETTER FROM GOOGLE! HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU GOOGLE.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THEY STILL E-MAIL ME ON AN ANNUAL BASIS, INSISTING FOR ME TO RE-PAY FOR THIS DOMAIN WHICH NOBODY VISITS ANYWAYS. THEREFORE I HAVE TO RE-INPUT MY CREDIT CARD INFORMATION ALL THE TIME, ALONG WITH ALL THE SADISTIC SADOMASOCHISTIC FOOT-FETISH PORNO MEMBERSHIPS I SIGN UP FOR ALL OVER THE NET. SOMETIMES I JERK IT SO MUCH AND IT BECOMES SO SORE THAT I HAVE TO TAKE A PISS OUT FROM MY FILTHY BUTT. DON'T BE JEALOUS THAT I AM LIVING THE LIFE, ONE POSSIBLY BETTER THAN THE CREATOR OF THIS BAND!

I HAVE AN IDEA GUYS... HERE'S A SPOON FOR YOU, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT AND GO EAT MY ASSHOLE?

THE ACACIA STRAIN - CONTINENT

1. Skynet
2. Seaward
3. Dr. Doom
4. Forget-Me-Now
5. Cthulhu
6. Baby Buster
7. Balboa Towers
8. JFC
9. Kraken
10. The Combine
11. The Behemoth

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BRIEF REVIEW:

I'M FUCKING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THE WHOLE THE AGAYCIA STRAIN AND MANURE DRAMA NON-STOP. ALL YOU'RE DOING IS MAKING TWO ARROGANT FUCKING LARGER-THAN-LIFE PRICKS FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEIR PAPER-TIGER SELVES. SO GO FUCK YOURSELVES YOU STUPID TREND-LEADING GIMMICK FAGGOTS AND YOUR FUCKING STUPID ASS EGO-TRIPPIN' BULLSHIT. IT ALL STARTED WHEN THAT ENORMOUSLY OVERWEIGHT FAGGOT VINCE BENNET CRITIQUED FRANKIE PALMERI OF "RIPPING OFF" THEIR DOWN-TUNED DROP-A RIFFS THAT SOUNDS LIKE PLUCKING THE PUBES OFF MY FUCKING ANUS. AWWW, DID SOMEBODY STEAL YOUR BASKET OF CANDIES WHICH YOU DIDN'T WANNA GIVE AWAY, YOU FUCKING STINGY LITTLE BABY?  SHARING IS A VIRTUE... REMEMBER WHAT THEY TAUGHT YOU IN PRE-SCHOOL? WHERE ARE YOUR CODE OF ETHICS, WERE YOU NOT BREASTFED ENOUGH AS A CHILD? WELL, I GUESS YOU COULDN'T BE SO MALNOURISHED CONSIDERING YOUR ENORMOUS SIZE. DON'T FUCKING TRAMPLE OVER MY STUPID TWIGGY SELF PLEASE VINCE, THERE'S A REASON WHY I TALK SHIT OVER THE NET ... SO YOU CAN NEVER FIND ME BEHIND MY ANONYMOUS FACADE! HA! COME BRASS KNUCKLE ME YOU USELESS FAGGOT!

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I CAN FUCKING BREAK FIVE STRINGS ON MY SHITTY ASS YAMAHA GUITAR AND STILL PLAY EACH AND EVERY SINGLE SONG COMPOSED BY THE TWO BANDS. I SWEAR TO GOD THEIR WHOLE FUCKING DRAMA'S A PUBLICITY STUNT ALL THEIR ALBUMS ARE COMPOSED BY SOME FUCKING OLD OGRE SITTING IN THE BASEMENT OF VICTORY RECORDS. YOU FUCKING IDIOTS ARE MORE FABRICATED THAN STUPID CLOWNY WHITE RAPPERS WITH FACE MASKS FROM THE SUBURBS OF DETROIT, YOU FUCKING MORONS. EXCEPT IF YOU EVER ATTEMPTED TO JUMP ONE OF THOSE GUYS, I'M SURE THEY'LL SIMPLY POP YOUR HORMONALLY-OVERPACKED SCROTUM WITH A NINE MILLIMETER BULLET AND NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH YOUR TOUGH-GUY FACADE. THAT'S RIGHT, NONE OF THAT BRASS KNUCKLE BULLSHIT. JUST A FINGER ON THE TRIGGER TO GET THE JOB DONE SOONER. GET OVER YOUR FAT, GREASY, GANG-METAL SELVES YOU FUCKING "POP-STARS" OF THE HARDCORE SCENE... INSTEAD YOU CAN ALWAYS DO THE WORLD A FAVOUR AND BE THE NEXT 2PAC AND BIGGIE SMALLS? YAY!

I HONESTLY CAN'T, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHAT THE HELL FRANKIE PALMARI HAS TO BE SO FUCKING PISSED OFF ABOUT AT ALL TIMES.WHAT SORT OF "HARD TIMES" DID YOU HAVE TO ENDURE IN ORDER TO FRONT SUCH A VIOLENTLY PISSED OFF HARDCORE BAND? DID YOUR FAT SUBURBAN HALF-BLACK GIRLFRIEND ABORT YOUR ANTICIPATED BABY BECAUSE EVEN SHE WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE NEGATIVE IMPACTS OF STRESS ON THE CHILD, DURING HER PREGNANT DAYS OF DEALING WITH YOUR EMOTIONALLY-UNSTABLE BREE-BREE ORR-ORR AUDITION DAYS? THAT IS QUITE UNFORTUNATE, I UNDERSTAND. HOWEVER, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE ... WHY THE HELL WOULD THE WORLD WANT ANOTHER DEFORMED LITTLE FUCKING COCKY PRE-DEVELOPED MEATHEAD ROAMING THESE HARDCORE PITS? HOW OLD WILL HE BE UNTIL YOU FIRST TEACH HIM HOW TO HARDCORE DANCE? IT'S REALLY JUST WHAT WE NEED, A COCKY LITTLE DIPSHIT AMBASSADOR FOR EVERY EMMURE SHOW THAT HAPPENS TO BE FRANKIE'S SON! (OH WAIT, HE WAS ABORTED, SORRY!)

SO APPARENTLY THE STORY WENT SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF THIS...  VINCENT WENT TO AN EMMURE SHOW IN NEW YORK TO FINALLY SETTLE THE ONGOING DRAMA. HE STEPS UP TO FRANKIE AND ASKS HIM WHETHER HE HAD BEEF. THEN FRANKIE PULLS OUT A BRASS KNUCKLE THAT HE NORMALLY USES TO SUPPLEMENT FOR A LACK OF PACKAGE IN BETWEEN HIS LEGS, AND SWINGS IT AT VINCENT. APPARENTLY IT WAS A BLOODY FEUD AND EVERYBODY REITERATED IT IN THEIR OWN WAY. NONE OF THE WITNESS' PRESS ACCOUNTS WERE ACCURATE HOWEVER, AS I WAS THE ONLY PERSON THERE TO HAVE OBSERVED THE WHOLE DISPUTE. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED WAS VINCENT PROPOSED TO FRANKIE BY TELLING HIM WHAT A BIG GROWN MAN HE BECAME, AND THAT HIS MASCULINITY WAS ADMIRABLE. FRANKIE WAS INITIALLY FLATTERED AND BLUSHED ON THE SPOT, BUT THEN REALIZED THERE WERE FANS AROUND SO HE RESUMED HIS TOUGH GUY PERSONA AND WIPED THE REDNESS OFF HIS FACE. VINCENT THEN ASKS HIM WHETHER HE WAS INTERESTED IN A "SWORD FIGHT", AND FRANKIE, INSTEAD OF  PULLING OUT A BRASS KNUCKLE AS THE ALLEGATION GOES, HE STRIPPED BUTT NAKED AND PULLED OUT HIS LIGHT-SABER AS THEY PLAYED "WATER SPORTS" ALL FUCKING NIGHT LONG. THE BLOOD ON THE CRIME SCENE WAS OBVIOUSLY THE HAZARDOUS PENETRATION INTO THE ORAL ORIFICE MADE BY VINCENT'S EIGHTEEN INCH COCK. UPON THE RESOLUTION OF THE DISPUTE, VINCE SHOOK FRANKIE'S CUM-STAINED HANDS AND RESOLVED IT AS A "GOOD WRESTLING MATCH FIGHT".

MAN I LOVE THE INTERNET. OBVIOUSLY I'D NEVER DARE TO SAY ANY OF THIS TO THEIR FACES, BECAUSE I'M A HAIRY AND OVERWEIGHT VIRGIN, WHO IS FINGER-HAPPY TYPING AWAY BEHIND THE ANONYMITY OF HIS THICK MONITOR BARRIER. BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH, EVEN IF I WORKED IN THE PRESS, I'D LOVE TO INTERVIEW VINCENT AND ASK HIM WHAT HE THOUGHT OF THE ATROCITY THAT WAS THE COWARDLY  PITIFUL NON-FIGHT THAT HE GOT HIMSELF INTO. IN AN OFFICIAL PRESS-RELEASE STATEMENT, HE HAS GROWLED THE FOLLOWING:

“The internet is abuzz. Did i get beat up? Nope! Did i hang the fuck out? Yes!”

VINCENT RELEASES THIS STATEMENT AS HIS GUITARIST TAPS OUT A CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG RIFF FOR HIS FIFTEEN YEAR OLD DEATHCORE FANS ENTERED THE ROOM AND WINDMILLED THE SHIT OUT OF THE PRESS CONFERENCE ROOM, SENDING ALL RECORDING DEVICES AND JOURNAL BINDERS FLYING UP IN THE AIR LIKE A FUCKING TORNADO. (YES I CALLED Y'ALL DEATHCORE ... PLEASE DON'T DO SOMETHING BAD TO ME!) MAN I AM TERRIFIED OF THOSE GUYS.

WELCOME TO THE HIP-HOP ERA OF HEAVY METAL, BOYS AND GIRLS!

BLOOD IN / BLOOD OUT - NO ONE CONQUERS WHO DOESN'T FIGHT

1. What Once Was Within

2. Mesh Hat, Black Hair

3. Utopia Never Was

4. As Good as Dead

5. Look at Yourself

6. Behind False Names

7. It Never Ends

8. Rise and Fall of a Dream, The

9. Stand Hard and Fall Hard

10. Always the Underdog

11. No, Time For You

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BRIEF REVIEW:

LAST TIME I IMAGINED HAVING MY BLOOD BEING PUMPED IN AND OUT INTERCHANGABLY, WAS WHEN I WAS FUCKING MASTURBATING FOR THE SEVENTH TIME IN THE SAME HOUR. IT WAS HOLY FUCKING PLEASURE, I'M NOT GOING TO LIE. UNTIL I STARTED BLEEDING OUT OF MY FOUR AND A HALF INCH PENIS, I REALIZED I DEFINITELY WENT OVERBOARD. HOWEVER I WAS DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO LET THAT EXCESS OF BLOOD GO INTO WASTE, SO I CALLED THE FUCKING RED CROSS AND HAD THEM SIPHON THE PUDDLE IN ORDER TO TRANSFER TO FUCKING HAITI. IT JUST HAPPENS THAT I HAVE EVERY SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE POSSIBLE FROM SLEEPING WITH COUNTLESS PROSTITUTES FROM NIGER. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO FINALLY GET A FUCKING TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE NOW, YOU NIGGERS FROM NIGER?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW A FUCKING COUNTRY -- NO MATTER HOW UNDERDEVELOPED OR IMPOVERISHED -- CANNOT DETECT AN EARTHQUAKE AT SEVEN POINT ONE MAGNITUDE. DIDN'T YOU GUYS FUCKING FEEL YOUR HAY-BUILT STOOLS VIBRATING SOMETIME BEFORE THE TRAGEDY... SAY, LIKE, TWO FUCKING DAYS BEFORE? ANY FUCKING THIRD WORLD COUNTRY NOWADAYS WITH A FUCKING DOLLAR-STORE SESMIC DEVICE CAN FUCKING GO OUT OF WHACK LIKE A FAT BITCH ON A SCALE, REGARDLESS OF HOW POOR YOUR LAZY ASS NIGGER CITIZENS ARE. HERE'S A SOLUTION ... INSTEAD OF FUCKING FREE-RIDING OFF DONATIONS FROM THE WELL-OFF FIRST WORLD NATIONS, HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING STUPID AFRICAN COUNTRIES TRAIN A FEW CIVIL ENGINEERS, BUILD SOME ROADS AND FILTER YOUR NASTY ASS PIPELINES YOU FUCKING STRUCTURALLY- DEFICIENT UNDERGROUND NETWORKING HOBOS? HOW WILL YOUR ECONOMY EVER FEED OFF WESTERN TOURISM IF MY FUCKING PISS TASTES BETTER THAN YOUR TAPWATER NOWADAYS!

AND I LOVE HOW THEY ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO RELAY THE BLAME BACK TO "EUROPEAN COLONIALISM", CLAIMING THAT THEIR SOCIETAL ILLS FALL UNDER THE BLAME OF FRENCH IMPERIALISM A THOUSAND DYNASTIES AGO BEFORE HUMANS EVEN EVOLVED FROM APES. NICE TRY, BOY-WHO-CRIES-WOLF. LET ME TELL YOU FUCKING DIPSHITS SOMETHING ... IF THE FAGGOT LITTLE FROGGY-CROAKING FRENCHIES WERE STILL A PART OF YOUR COUNTRY'S GAY-ASS BUREAUCRACY, THEN PERHAPS THEY WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THE "CLASSIFIED" NUCLEAR TESTING UNDER WATER NEAR YOUR FUCKING COUNTRY, WHICH CAUSED YOUR FUCKING EARTHQUAKE IN CONSPIRACY!!

NO WONDER WHY I HATE WHITE PEOPLE MORE THAN NIGGERS, HOLY SHIT. BUT AT LEAST THEY CAN FEEL A WAVE COMING BEFORE IT HITS THEIR SHORE AND THEY DON'T CRY FOR HANDOUTS. FUCKING WORTHLESS MORONS.

BLOOD IN / BLOOD OUT - RESPECT OUR LOYALTY

1. Respect Our Loyalty

2. Alone

3. This Fight We Fought

4. Embarrass Our Name

5. For All That He Has Done

6. Who Crowned You King

7. Come to Terms

8. Life Sucks

9. You Chose Your Own Fate

10. Your Hatred Dies With You

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BRIEF REVIEW:

NO, I WILL NOT RESPECT YOUR LOYALTY. IN FACT, FUCK YOUR LOYALTY AND THIS FUCKING WEBSITE YOU STUPID ARROGANT TOUGH-GUY PRICKS, I'M GOING TO BECOME A JOURNALIST ONE DAY.

“TORNADO RIPS THROUGH A CEMENTARY, HUNDREDS DEAD”

A SERIES OF TORNADO FORMED DURING LAST NIGHT’S STORMY WEATHER MANAGED TO TEAR RIGHT THROUGH THE ROSA PARK CEMETERY NORTH OF NEW YORK CITY, LEAVING HUNDREDS OF DECEASED BODIES WITHIN THE CEMETERY PREMISE. THE DAMAGES DONE BY THIS RATHER UNEXPECTED NATURAL DISASTER WAS CONSIDERED TO BE ONE OF THE WORST TO HAVE OCCURRED IN OVER FIFTY YEARS IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK.

“IT WAS JUST HORRIBLE”, WAILED WHITNEY, A DRIVING-BY WITNESS ACCOUNT. “WE WERE JUST ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED BY WHAT WE SAW. ESPECIALLY RIDING IN A CONVERTIBLE WITH NO ROOF AS SHIELD, THE SITUATION WAS DANGEROUS TO US AS WELL.

“WE DIDN’T LEAVE THE DISASTER SCENE UNSCATHED, EITHER. WE LOST A DEAR FAMILY MEMBER DURING THE RAMPAGE. OUR BELOVED DOUG, THE FIFTH DOG THAT WE JUST PURCHASED FROM THE LOCAL PET STORE, WAS IMMEDIATELY SUCKED UP INTO THE AIR. IT WAS A TRAUMATIZING EXPERIENCE TO SEE SUCH A RECENT FAMILY MEMBER GO. I MEAN, WE [PARENTS AND GUARDIANS] AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BURY OUR YOUNGER ONES. ESPECIALLY IN A NOW-WRECKED CEMETERY”


THE PARAMEDICS HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCING EVERY DISCOVERED BODY TO BE DEAD UPON ARRIVAL.

“HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHETHER THEY WERE PREVIOUSLY DECEASED OR NEWLY DEAD? IT WAS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT FOR US TO DETERMINE WHETHER ANY OF THE BODIES WERE STILL ALIVE, PERIOD. REGARDLESS OF OUR CREDENTIALS.” EXPLAINED LIGAR TREBINKO, A PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL PERSONNEL ON THE SCENE. “LIKE ANY OTHER CORPORATIZED HEALTHCARE SYSTEMS, WE HOPE FOR AS LITTLE AMOUNT OF CASUALTIES AS POSSIBLE. BUT ONCE YOUR WALLET IS EMPTY AND WITHOUT IDENTIFICATION, WE ARE UNABLE TO VERIFY WHETHER YOUR HEALTH IS ACTUALLY INSURED UNDER A COVERAGE PLAN”.

THE PRESIDENT OF MOONYBROOKE HOSPITAL, CYCOL PATSY RELEASED A STATEMENT VIA A REQUESTED HOUSE CONFERENCE.

“ULTIMATELY, THIS HAS BEEN A TOUCHY ISSUE FOR PHILANTHROPISTS AND MEDICAL BUSINESSMEN ALIKE. SURE, PEOPLE DIE EVERY DAY. WE EXTEND OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES TO THEIR FAMILIES AND LOVED ONES. HOWEVER, IF ANY CURRENT EVENTS HAVE TAUGHT US THROUGHOUT THE PAST WEEK, IT IS THAT NATURAL DISASTERS OCCUR AT ALL TIMES. WE, AS UNIONIZED MEMBERS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION ON THE OTHER END, ALSO HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT WE MAKE ENDS MEET IN ORDER TO SUFFICIENTLY AFFORD TO PAY BILLS AND PLACE FOOD ON THE TABLE.”

PATSY STATES AS HE RIDES AWAY IN HIS BMW FOR A GOLF TOURNAMENT.

INVESTIGATORS ARE ALSO SEEKING FOR THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR “POTENTIAL CRIME SCENES”. “WE CAN NEVER BE FULLY CERTAIN WHETHER THE MISSING GRAVES AND THE PECULIAR CARCASSES IMPALED ON SOME TREE BRANCHES ARE THE CAUSE OF EITHER THE NATURAL DISASTER, OR ACTS OF GRAVE-ROBBING AND HOMICIDES”, STATES CONE PHUSED, THE CHIEF OFFICER OF THE INVESTIGATION. “HOWEVER, IF ANYONE HAS ANY INFORMATION ON THOSE POTENTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY POSSIBLE CRIMINAL DEEDS, PLEASE CALL YOUR LOCAL CRIME STOPPER BRANCH IMMEDIATELY.”

THE MAYOR COULD NOT BE REACHED FOR COMMENT AT THIS CURRENT TIME REGARDING THE TRAVESTY. A SECRETARY INFORMS MIDNIGHT GLOBE THAT HE MAY BE STILL ON A VACATION IN HAITI.

BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME - SELF-TITLED

01. More Of Myself To Kill 6:48
02. Arsonist 4:50
03. Aspirations 5:45
04. What We Have Become 5:07
05. Fire For A Dry Mouth 6:05
06. Naked By The Computer 5:34
07. Use Of A Weapon 4:51
08. Shevanel Cut A Flip 9:29

BRIEF REVIEW:

I FUCKING DESPISE SEASONAL HOLIDAYS. IN THE FESTIVE OF THINGS, PEOPLE ARE SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH THEIR FAMILIES AND "LOVED ONES". WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE TWO AFOREMENTIONED CRAP ANYWAYS?! LAST TIME I CONVINCED MYSELF THAT I HAD A FAMILY AND NOT RAISED IN A FUCKING GOVERNMENT-SUBSIDIZED GROUP HOME, THE COUNSELLOR FORCE-FED ME SALTY SEMEN ON A NIGHLY BASIS ON TOP OF MY CREAKY BUNK-BED THAT I SHARED WITH MY NIGGER BUDDY "AHKINGS" WHO MUGGED ME OF MY BALONEY SANDWICHES ON A DAILY BASIS (AND IF THAT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH, MIND YOU, AHKINGS WAS STRICTLY A MUSLIM AND ENTIRELY FUCKING VEGETARIAN!). I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYBODY LOVES MOLESTING A HIDEOUSLY FAT FRECKLE-FACED GINGER LIKE ME, BUT EVERY TIME THEY DID IT, I FUCKING CRIED MY MISERABLE ASS OFF BECAUSE IT JUST FELT SO GODDAMN GOOD. WHO SAID YOU CAN'T MIX PAIN WITH PLEASURE, YOU FUCKING LOVE-CYNICAL FAGGOTS?!

I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH LONELINESS. EVERY YEAR WHEN CHRISTMAS TIMES, I INVITE ALL MY IMAGINARY LITTLE PUPPET FRIENDS OVER FOR A FUCKING TEA PARTY. I SEW THEM UP MYSELF WITH BUTTONS FOR EYES AND A SOCKET FOR MY FINGERS, AND HAVE NAMED THEM FROM "ADAM" TO "JONES" TO "ZACK" RESPECTIVELY IN THE ALPHABETICAL ORDER. IT WASN'T UNTIL THIS YEAR WHEN I REALIZED TEN WASN'T MERELY ENOUGH WITH ALL THE EXTRA TEA LEAVES I'VE RAKED OFF MY LANDLORD'S COMPOSE BIN, SO I SEWED MYSELF A NEW ONE NAMED WHICH I PLACED RIGHT ON MY LONG, THICK AND ERECT PENIS. I NAMED HIM ZUHAIR BECAUSE HE'S BROWN DUE TO THE FREQUENT CONTACT WITH THE INSIDE OF MY ASSHOLE. HEY ZUHAIR, HOW ABOUT YOU REFRAIN FROM BEING A DIRTY PAKISTANI AND GET SOME DEODERANT BECAUSE YOU FUCKING SMELL LIKE MY PUTRID SHIT?!

I DON'T KNOW WHY I DON'T UPDATE THIS SITE. MY LONELINESS HAS TAKEN A FUCKING TOLL NOWADAYS THAT I'D CALL THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS FOR BEING THE LONELIEST MAN ON EARTH, EXCEPT THAT IF I HAD ANY CELLUAR OR MOBILE CONTACT WITH ANYONE IN THIS OUTSIDE WORLD, I'D IMMEDIATELY BREAK THE RECORD. GODDAMN YOU FAGGOTS! STOP COMING TO VISIT ME ON MY MY SITE, I'M SETTING UP A FAGGOT WORLD RECORD!

BLOODLINED CALLIGRAPHY - THEY WANT YOU SILENT

1. Shall We Dance
2. Demonstrating My Style
3. Know When to Held Em
4. Not Another Teen Love Song
5. Sundress
6. Hammer to Nail
7. ...Know When to Fold Em
8. Saturday Night in Dixie
9. Variety of Damage, A
10. I May Have Been Born Yesterday, But I Stayed Up All Night

BRIEF REVIEW:

I SWEAR TO GOD I USED TO HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON THE CUTE AGGRESSIVE FEMALE BLONDE VOCALIST FRONTING THIS BAND. UNTIL A CLOSER LOOK OF HER REVEALED TO ME THAT SHE'S ACTUALLY FUCKING FAT AND HIDEOUS. GOOD JOB CONCEALING YOUR EVER-GAINING PHYSICAL MASS, YOU FUCKING GROTESQUE TRAMP. I HAVE NO CLUE HOW I CAN POSSIBLY WANT TO FORNICATE SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN GAINING SO MUCH WEIGHT EXPONENTIALLY OVERTIME... DID ONE OF THE BAND MEMBERS IMPREGNATE HER? OH MY GOD, BEYOND ME. I WONDER HOW MUCH HER SCALE CRIED THE LAST TIME SHE UNINTENTIONALLY TRAMPLED ALL OVER IT. IT'S QUITE HYPOCRITICAL BECAUSE I AM THE BIGGEST, AND THE FATTEST WEBMASTER YOU'LL EVER MEET. BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN STILL FLAIL MY FISTS LIKE A FUCKING BUDO-TANK IN THE FUCKING PIT IF YOU'LL EVER SEE ME THROWING DOWN IN MICHIGAN YOU FUCKING FAGGOT LITTLE SCENE KIDS!

IT'S PATHETIC HOW IMMOBILIZED I AM, BEING THE FAT, GREASY, ANTI-SOCIAL AND INEPT LOSER YOU'D EVER MEET IN REAL LIFE. THAT IS WHY I FUCKING COWER MY SORRY FAT-ASS HOME ON A DAILY BASIS IMAGINING HOW PLEASURABLE IT WOULD BE IF THE MIC SHE WAS HOLDING WOULD BE REPLACED WITH MY PUTRIDLY FLABBY DICK. WOULD IT POSSIBLY IMPROVE HER VOCAL PERFORMANCE IF I UNLEASHED A CONCENTRATION OF PROTEIN-RICH VITAMIN SUPPLEMENT DOWN HER FUCKING THROAT? OH MAN, THE BEAUTY OF SUCH IMAGINATIVE SEXUAL DESIRES JUST MADE ME JIZZ A LITTLE INTO MY JUNGLE OF BUSHES. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM TARZAN, THE KING OF MY OWN JUNGLE THAT IS MY FUCKING DISGUSTING PUBES! WORSHIP ME YOU LITTLE FURRY FAGGOT PARASITES THAT LIVE WITHIN!

I SWEAR TO FUCKING BUDDAH, ALLAH AND GOD THAT NIGHTS LIKE THESE GET SO LONELY SOMETIMES I HAVE TO SUCK MY OWN DICK FOR COMFORT. I'VE SEVERED MY SPLEEN A LONG TIME AGO SO I CAN REACH THAT FAR DOWN, AND THEN I ENACT AUTO-FELLATIO ON MYSELF JUST SO I CAN TELL MY INTERNET GIRLFRIENDS THAT I'VE RECEIVED HEAD IN MY LIFE. THEN THEY ASK ME TO SUBMIT A PHOTO, WHERE I THEN SELECT A RANDOM IMAGE FROM MY ASHTON KUTCHER ARCHIVES AND SEND IT TO THEM. AFTER BEING ORGASMICALLY FOOLED THAT I AM AN ATTRACTIVE POP-STAR AND NOT THE FAT, UGLY, DEFORMED BALDING LOSER THAT THIS REALITY HAS SUBDUED UPON ME, THEY INSIST THAT A DATE SHALL COMMENCE WHERE WE GO OUT FOR COFFEE. EMBARRASSED OF MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, I USUALLY WEAR A FUCKING MASK INTO THE LOCAL STARBUCKS WHERE WE ARRANGE TO MEET. LUCKILY ENOUGH, THESE DUMB BITCHES FAIL TO REALIZE THAT MY FACE IS BEHIND A DISGUISE. THAT IS, UNTIL MY MASK GETS SHAKEN OFF BY MY IRRITATING BOWEL SYNDROME WHICH MAKES ME EXPLODE ALL OVER MY ADULT-DIAPERS DUE TO MY SHEER NERVOUSNESS OF INTERACTING WITH FEMALES, AND I BREAK INTO AN EPISODE OF TURRETS. FUCK CRAP GODDAMN! TELL YOUR BITCH THAT SHE FUCKIN' AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A BUNCH OF VAG AND TITS!

I'VE BEEN SO LONELY FOR SO LONG THAT OUT OF DESPERATION I STARTED SEEKING AFFAIRS IN GAYTHUGDATING.COM. LAST TIME I HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND IT WAS WITH A FUCKING SRI-LANKAN NAMED ABU PAPI. I SPENT HALF A MINUTE LICKING THE RED PAKI-DOT OFF HIS FOREHEAD BEFORE COLLAPSING UNCONSCIOUS DUE TO SEVERE TOXIC POISONING. HOW THE FUCK DO THESE COCKROACHES LIVE? I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN NUKE THE WORLD TEN TIMES OVER AND THE ONLY ETHNIC RACE THAT WOULD EVER SURVIVE ARE THESE FILTHY COCKROACH PAKI'S. WOW, TALK ABOUT SURVIVAL OF THE FILTHIEST, EH DARWIN?

ANAH AEVIA - REALIZE YOU'RE DEAD

1 Murder
2 Emmanuel My Provider
3 Hubble Slaw
4 October 12 1998
5 Renewal
6 Eyes As Phyxiated
7 Mexico City
8 Hope
9 London Life Play
10 A Tale Of Two Revolutions
11 Sea And Sky
12 Morning The Innocent
13 Rest

BRIEF REVIEW:

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A MISERABLE CHRISTMAS YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS FAGGOTS!

I'VE ALWAYS HATED CHRISTMAS SINCE LIFE. EVER SINCE SANTA GAVE ME AN "EXCLUSIVE PRESENT" IN THE ENTRANCE TO MY REAR SOCKET BEHIND THE CHRISTMAS TREE WHEN I WAS AN INNOCENT LITTLE EIGHT-YEAR-OLD, "SHIT" HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME FOR ME AGAIN. I MEAN DON'T GET ME WRONG, I DON'T MIND BEING MOLESTED BY HOT SEXY BEARDED OLD GUYS RIDING IN REINDEER-MOBILES, BUT WHEN THAT OLD DISGUISED BASTARD IS YOUR OWN FUCKING FATHER, THINGS GET PRETTY EMBARRASSING AS TIME GOES ON. FORTY YEARS AFTER, WHENEVER I STILL GO TAKE A SHIT, MY DYSFUNCTIONAL RECTAL TUBE SPLATTERS THE FECAL REMAINS ALL OVER THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY PROJECTILE ORGANS?! I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE.

I LOATHE THE SHIT OUT OF CHRISTMAS. EVERY SINGLE YEAR I SEE MY JOLLY OLD NEIGHBOURS EXCHANGING GIFTS WITH THEIR FAMILIES AND LOVED ONES, AND IT TURNS ME ON. ESPECIALLY WHEN SPYING ON THEM THROUGH THESE THICK BUT DISCRETE HOLES I'VE PUNCTURED IN MY WALLS WHILE MASTURBATING TO THE SIGHT OF THEIR DINNER GET-TOGETHERS. IN ORDER TO ALLEVIATE MY LONELINESS, I ATTEMPT TO CONTACT MY DESIRABLE HOOKERS TO COME OVER AND RELIEVE ME OF MY EXTREME DEPRIVATION, ONLY TO BE DUMBFOUNDED THAT THEY CUT MY LONG-DISTANCE COMMUNICATION TO THAILAND DUE TO MY UNPAID BILLS FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS. HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL AFFAIRS WITH TWELVE YEAR OLD SLANTY-EYED ORIENTAL CHINKS NOW?! I FUCKING HATE THIS SEASON!

SOMETIMES I GO OUT ONTO THE SIDEWALK AND PISS IN THE SNOW IN THE ATTEMPT TO MAKE ABSTRACT ART. BUT THEN MY FUCKING BONER FREEZES INTO ICE UNDER BELOW TWENTY CELSIUS. I THEN RETURN HOME AND GO BACK ON THE INTERNET WHILST FIDDLING WITH MY FROZEN ICICLE ALL DAY. HOLY FUCKING HOLIDAYS WELL SPENT.

CONSIDERING MY DYING AGE, I'M GOING TO FILL OUT A SANTA APPLICATION AND FLY ALL OVER THE WORLD JUST TO SPY ON LITTLE KIDS SLEEPING OVER THE GLOBE AND PERHAPS DO TO THEM WHAT I'VE HORRIBLY BEEN THROUGH DURING MY YOUTHFUL YEARS OF DESPICABLE INJUSTICE... (EVERY COUNTRY BUT SOMALIA, I DON'T WANT TO GET KIDNAPPED BY ELEVEN YEAR OLD NEGROE SOMALIAN PIRATES.)

NO ASSEMBLY REQUIRED - ST. PETERSBURG

01. CCCP

02. Blood and Iron

03. The Bronze Horseman

04. Hero City

05. Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood

06. Road of Life

07. Honor Amongst Thieves

08. Silver Age

09. Empress Catherine the Great

BRIEF REVIEW:

HAHAHA JUST AS YOU THOUGHT NU-METAL GIMMICKS CAN'T POSSIBLY GET ANY GAYER, INTRODUCING A BUNCH OF FUCKING CANADIAN GOOFS WHO THINKS THEY'RE PATRIOTS TO SOVIET RUSSIA! GOOD JOB YOU FUCKING ASSCLOWNS. IF YOUR SHITTY NU-METAL SOUND FAILS TO SELL, PERHAPS YOU CAN SELL A PRETENTIOUS CONCEPT/IDEOLOGY THAT COMES WITH IT! MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOUR FUCKING ALBUM IS FREE FOR DOWNLOADS, TO MAKE THE CROWD BELIEVE THAT YOU TOOLS SUPPORT SOCIALIZATION OF NATIONAL ECONOMICS. HOWEVER I AM NOT FOOLED. THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU ASSWIPES EVEN POST YOUR HORRENDOUS GARBAGE ONLINE IS BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE FUCKING CROWD WON'T PAY A SINGLE CENT TO LISTEN TO YOUR NOISEY EARACHE YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS. WHAT IS THIS FUCKING FAGGOT ALBUM, A TRIBUTE TO STALIN? WELL YOU BETTER BE THANKFUL THAT HE'S NO LONGER ALIVE, AS IF THIS PATHETIC ENSEMBLE WAS EVER PERFORMED IN FRONT OF HIM, IT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN ANOTHER PUSH ON THE RED BUTTON THAT OPENED UP A TRAPDOOR TO YOUR PITIFUL EXECUTIONS!

I CAN'T FUCKING COMPREHEND UTOPIAN COMMUNISTS. THEY THINK THE PROBLEMS WITH THIS WORLD ARE SOMEHOW "INSTILLED" AND "NURTURED" UPON THEM BY UNEVEN DISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH AND OTHER INEQUALITIES. HEY FUCKING KARL MARXES, WAKE THE FUCK UP AND WELCOME TO HUMAN NATURE YOU FUCKING NAIVE IDIOTS. I'M SURE YOUR NIGGER DRUG DEALER CAMEROON WON'T BUST A CAP IN YOUR SCRAWNY LITTLE ASS FOR FAILING TO PAY YOUR GRAND SUM OF DUES, JUST BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING WEALTHY ENOUGH TO MAKE IT ON HIS OWN. WAKE THE FUCK UP AND GET BENT YOU FUCKING STUPID COMMIES. THERE'S A REASON WHY SOVIET RUSSIA FAILED, AND YOU MAY ARGUE THE CAUSE TO BE WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT BUT YOU CAN'T DENY THE FACT THAT THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU SUPPORT THIS TYPE OF EXPLOITATIVE ETHICS IS BECAUSE YOU'RE A BUNCH OF LAZY, INCOMPETENT AND FAT IDIOTS WHO APPLIES THE CONCEPT OF "ECONOMIC EQUALITY" AS A VEHICLE TO FURTHER YOUR UNEMPLOYED AGENDA'S. GO JOIN THE ABORIGINAL/FIRST NATION UNIONS YOU FUCKING ALCOHOLIC BUMS.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE FEMINISTS TOO YOU FUCKING HAIRY FAGGOT WHORES.

ABANDON ALL SHIPS - EP

1. Pedestrians Is Another Word For Speedbump

2. Shake Your AAS

3. Megawacko

4. Brendons Song

5. In Your Dreams Brah!

BRIEF REVIEW:

EVER MET A BUNCH OF FUCKING UGLY AND USELESS EUROPEANS THAT (1). FUCKING SUCK AT SOCCER AND (2). CAN'T GET A FUCKING ACCEPTABLE AND LEGAL PASSPORT AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST ... (3) ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING ILLEGAL IMMIGRATED FAGGOTS? WELL, INTRODUCING ABANDON ALL FUCKS, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! NOT ONLY ARE THESE FUCKING GUIDO'S A HUGE DISGRACE TO EUROPEANS, THEY ALSO CANNOT PROMOTE A PROPER CLUB PARTY FOR SHIT DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEIR TECHNO MUSIC SUCKS THE LEFT NUT OUT OF MY TESTICULAR SOCKET!'

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AN ANGRY ITALIAN. MY INABILITY TO GROW BODY HAIR MADE ME APPLY VARIOUS FORMULAS ON MY PUBIC REGION UNTIL I REALIZED THE SOLUTION HAD ADVERSE SIDE-EFFECTS ON THE LENGTH OF MY PEEPEE. BEING ITALIAN IS GREAT BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GET HIRED BY A "MARIO" TO DO ODD JOBS SO I'M ABLE TO IMPREGNATE HIS WHORISH SIXTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, BEFORE SHE FINALLY AND HELPLESSLY SQUATS OUT A DEFORMED INFANT NINE MONTHS AFTER I SQUEEZE MY MINIATURE LITTLE DICK INTO HER NASTY LITTLE PREMATURE (BUT HAIRY) SOCKET. UPON REALIZING I'D THEN GET ARRESTED FOR BEING THE BIG PEDOPHILE I AM, I GLADLY PACK MY BAGS TO MOVE TO ZIMBABWE AND JOIN THE PEDOPHILE PROTECTION PROGRAM THERE. TO QUALIFY, I HAD TO KILL THE REST OF THE WHITE FARMERS THAT WILL FURTHER RESULT IN THE COUNTRY'S PLUMETTING ECONOMY. GREAT JOB YOU FUCKING USELESS NEGORES! WAY TO PUT OUR NATION IN DEEPER CRISES FOR THE NAME OF "RACIAL REPARATION" AND LEAVE ALL OF US IN A CONDITION WORSE THAN IT EVER COULD HAVE BEEN, EVEN WITH THE PRESENCE OF SLAVERY! WHOO HOO! FUCKING USELESS TOOLS.

OH SHIT, AM I BEING OFFENSIVE? I AM SORRY, POPE. YOU SEE, EVER SINCE I WAS A YOUNG KID, I'VE ALWAYS NOT WANTED TO BE ONE OF THE LAST FEW FARMERS IN ZIMBABWE. SO I PLAY FARMVILLE AS A WAY TO COORDINATE MY FANTASY OF AN UTOPIA WHEN THE BLACKS STILL WORKED FOR ME IN MY BACKYARD BEFORE THEY ATTEMPTED TO RETALIATE. WHENEVER MY GAY LITTLE FARMVILLE FACEBOOK APPLICATION ERECTS A COTTON PLANT, I MAKE MY NIGGER JAMAL JOYOUSLY DANCE AROUND BY CLICKING RANDOM OPEN SPOTS ON THE FIELD TO COORDINATE HIS BLACK DANCE MOVEMENTS. WATCHING A BIG BLUFF BLACK MAN DANCE TURNS ME ON, SO I MAKE HIM GO HARVEST SOME VIRTUAL ZUCCHINI'S AND SHOVE IT UP MY VARIOUS STIMULATING ORIFICES. THE FRICTION I MAKE FROM THE OBJECT RUBBING AGAINST MY ASSHOLE CALLS FOR THE FIRE DEPARTMENT TO PUT OUT THE FLAME. IN ORDER TO SUCCESSFULLY DO SO, THEY MUST FIRST SHOVE A LADDER INTO MY ASSHOLE AND MAKE ERRANDS IN AND OUT OF THERE WITH THE FIRE HOSES. I SWEAR TO GOD THAT MY ASSHOLE HAS BEEN MADE SO LOOSE FROM VARIOUS TAMPERMENTS THAT WHOEVER HAS SEEN IT MUST BE ABLE TO STICK THEIR HEAD INTO THE RECTAL OPENING AND PULL IT OUT OF THEIR DICK TUBE. TALK ABOUT A REAL VERSATILE PHYSICAL ANATOMY, EH, YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS?

WOW, I AM SO DRUNK.

Anah Aevia - Statistical And Diagnostic Manual Of Mental Disorders

1. Closed Arms and Clenched Fist
2. Lying Beneath a Dream
3. Mourning The Innocent
4. Gather and Weep
5. Soli De Gloria (To Christ Alone Be The Glory)

BRIEF REVIEW:

LOOKING AT THE GLOOMY POST-APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE ON THE ALBUM COVER IS MAKING ME EXTREMELY DEPRESSED. WHY IS THE WORLD SO FUCKING DEPRAVED WITHOUT SUNLIGHT ... WHERE THE HELL DID THEY CAPTURE THIS SAD PHOTO? COULD IT POSSIBLY BE THE IRRITABLY WAR-TORN MIDDLE EAST? HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY THE PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS THERE TO SHOOT SUCH A FUCKING DREADFUL IMAGE COVER OF A NATION BOMBED BY THE NUKES DROPPED FROM UNITED STATES? WHO GIVES, AS LONG AS THERE ARE DEAD CHILDREN BURIED IN CAVES INVOLVED, EVERY WAR ON IRAQ IS A SUCCESSFUL WAR!

I FUCKING HATE PRO-ZIONIST PALESTINIAN FUCKS. EVERY DAY WHEN I CRY OVER MY SEVERE SEXUAL DEPRIVATION, I PAY MY ARRANGED-MARRIAGE REPRESENTATIVE ABDULLAH TO SHIP OVER A NEW FUCKING SEX SLAVE FULLY WRAPPED IN A FACE VEAL ALL THE WAY OVER FROM GAZA. THEN I FUCKING RIP THE TURBAN-MATIC FACE VEIL OFF HER FUCKING HIDEOUS HEAD AND REPLACE IT WITH DUCT TAPE AND OTHER NON BREATHE-THROUGH LEATHER BONDAGE. AS SHE SUFFOCATES TO DEATH, HER SKIN TURNS PALER AND PALER UNTIL SHE FULLY LOOKS LIKE A WHITE WOMAN. I GUESS THAT'S THE ONLY WAY WE'D EVER "WESTERNIZE" THESE HIDEOUSLY OPPRESSED COCKROACHES!

I DON'T COMPREHEND WHY THERE'S SUCH A PRO-PALESTINIAN PROPAGANDA BEING SO WIDESPREAD RIGHT NOW BY STUPID ANTI-WAR FAT-FUCK COMMIES LIKE MICHAEL MOORE. "LIBERATE THE MIDDLE EAST"? HOW ABOUT YOU SUCK ON MY LONG CONFEDERATE DICK FIRST, YOU FUCKING LIBERAL DEMOCRATIC TRANSVESTITES. ALL THESE WOMEN ARE PROCLAIMING THAT THE TURBANS AND FACE-VEILS ARE NOT A SYMBOL OF OPPRESSION AND EXPLOITATION, BUT RATHER AN EMBLEM OF "FREEDOM". I'M SURE YOU FEEL SO FUCKING LIBERATED WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THE LACK OF PERIPHERAL VISIONS ON BOTH OF YOUR SIDES YOU FUCKING VISUALLY IMPAIRED RATS. NEVER EVER DRIVE, YOU FUCKING HANDICAPPED ASSHOLES. OTHERS ARE SO STUPID TO CLAIM THAT THOSE WORTHLESS RAGS ARE THERE TO CONCEAL A WOMAN'S "BEAUTY" IN THE PUBLIC, CONSIDERING SUCH "COMMODITY" IS ONLY TO BE GRANTED PERSONALLY AT HOME TO YOUR LOVED ONES. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOU HIDEOUSLY GROTESQUE PAKIES? IT'S MORE LIKE TO CONCEAL YOUR UGLINESS YOU FUCKING DEFORMED RETARDS. THE LAST TIME MY DIRTY PAKISTANI SOCIAL WORKER ENTERED MY HOUSE, THE FAN WAS ON AND IT BLEW HER FUCKING TURBAN OFF. I SWEAR TO GOD I ALMOST FAINTED RIGHT THERE. INSTEAD OF HELPING ME OUT WITH MY SUBSTANCE ADDICTION, SHE FUCKING CHASED AFTER THE DIRTY DURAG FOR TEN MINUTES BEFORE REPENTING TO HER GOD BY MY FIRE PLACE FOR HER HORRID MISTAKE. HOLY FUCKING WOW, NEEDLESS TO SAY ALLAH DID NOT FORGIVE HER. HE SHAT OUT A THUNDERBOLT SO THICK IT PENETRATED INTO MY APARTMENT ROOM THROUGH THE SATELLITE DISHES AND ZAPPED HER INTO SOMETHING RESEMBLANT TO A SERVING OF FRIED TURKEY. EXCITED, I STUFFED HER WITH MY DICK FOR THIRTY NIGHTS STRAIGHT BEFORE SERVING HER TO MY NEIGHBOURS FOR THANKSGIVING.

TAKE OFF THOSE FUCKING NASTY FACE-COVERING BANDANAS YOU FUCKING HOODLUMS, THIS IS A CIVILIZED SOCIETY. I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE COUNTLESS CHINKY CONVENIENCE STORES BEING ROBBED FROM YOU AND YOUR PARTNERS IN CRIMES COVERED IN FACE-VEILS WHILE YOU USE THE STOLEN CASH TO FUND YOUR LOCAL MOSQUES THAT IS ANOTHER WAY OF PROVIDING SHELTER AND FOOD BANK YOU FUCKING LAZY, STARVING, UNEMPLOYED AND FILTHY MOSQUITO-BITTEN APES.

EMANUEL - BLACK EARTH TIGER

1. "Whiteflag (Intro)" - 2.00
2. "Cottonmouth" - 3:25
3. "Anathamatics" - 3.30
4. "My Antapex" - 3.33
5. "Scenotaph" - 4:17
6. "Phobos" - 4.20
7. "Abandonment Star" - 2.58
8. "Let Them Die" - 3.27
9. "Year Of The Pig" - 4.40
10. "Forever" - 3.45
11. "Whiteflag (Reprise)" - 7.13

BRIEF REVIEW:

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE "ROCK AND ROLL" CULTURE OR SO YOU FUCKING HILLBILLY WHITE TRASH REDNECK SHOTGUN-LOVING FUCKHEADS CALL IT. IT SOUNDS LIKE WHAT MY MOTHER DID EXCESSIVELY TO ME WHILE I WAS AN INFANT, UNTIL I FUCKING ENDED UP WITH SOME SORT OF SHAKING INFANT SYNDROME THAT PRODUCED THE BIG EXISTING BRAIN TUMOUR IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW. MAYBE THAT'S WHY I CAN'T HEAD-BANG LIKE YOU FUCKING PATHETIC COWARDLY METALHEADS. YOU FUCKING GREASY OVERWEIGHT FUCKERS LOOK ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC WHEN YOU GO ABOUT YOUR FUCKING "CIRCLE PIT" RITUALS YOU FAGGOTS. SINCE WHEN WAS IT COOL TO TWIRL AROUND AN INDOOR BAR LIKE YOU'RE ALL WORSHIPPING A TORNADO OF COLLECTIVE SWEAT AND FECES? I LAUGH AT YOUR PITIFUL, HAIRY VIRGIN SELVES, YOU FUCKING ASSHATS.

I LOVE IT EVEN BETTER WHEN THESE FUCKING "ROCKERS" (AS THEY CALL IT IN THAT AWESOME ENVIRONMENT CALLED "HIGH SCHOOL") STICK UP THEIR DEVIL'S HORN SIGNS WITH THEIR TWIRLY LITTLE ANAL-FISTING FINGERS. YEAH BROTHA, ROCK ON! EXCEPT WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT THE HELL IS "\m/" YOU FUCKING MISERABLE FAGGOTS? IT LOOKS LIKE MY TWO LEGS SPREAD UPWARDS WITH AN UNSHAVEN SCROTUM STICKING UPWARDS IN BETWEEN. JUST AS YOU THINK YOU'RE FUCKING COOL FOR WORSHIPPING THE DEVIL AND SUPPORTING SOME BULLSHIT COUNTER CULTURE, YOUR FORTY-SOMETHING MIDDLE-AGED PARENTS ARE DESPERATELY CALLING DR. PHIL AND MURRAY HOTLINES AND FRANTICALLY WONDERING HOW THEIR ONE-AND-ONLY SPOILED BRAT TURNED OUT LIKE THIS.

I HATE WHITE LITTLE FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL SKATE-PUNKS IN THEIR NASTY LITTLE TORN-UP TIGHTY WHITIES AND SKATING AROUND THE SIDEWALKS DOING "OLLIES" DOWN THE SHITTIEST WAXED LEDGES. GOOD JOB YOU FUCKING PHYSICAL HANDICAPS, AREN'T YOU VERSATILE. DO YOU REBELLIOUS LITTLE FUCKERS THINK "JACKASS TWO" IS MUCH BETTER THAN "JACKASS" THE FIRST? COME HERE SO OLD UNCLE WEBMASTER CAN PLAY WITH YOUR WEENIES LIKE THE BIG PEDOPHILE HE IS!

LET ME TELL YOU FAGGOTS SOMETHING... WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, WE HAD NO SKATEBOARDS AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY I WAS MORBIDLY OBESE. BUT HELL, WE SURE HAD TO CROSS THROUGH THREE HYMALAYAS MOUNTAINS IN THIRTY-FEET DEEP OF SNOW JUST TO SUCK OUR TEACHER'S DICKS IN ORDER TO RECEIVE A PASSING MARK IN OUR "ELEMENTARY HUNTING AND GATHERINGS" COURSE.

BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME - THE SILENT CIRCUS

1. Lost Perfection: A) Coulrophobia
2. Lost Perfection: B) Anablephobia
3. Camilla Rhodes
4. Mordecai
5. Reaction
6. Shevanel Take 2
7. Ad A Dglgmut
8. Destructo Spin
9. Aesthetic
10. The Need For Repetition

BRIEF REVIEW:

LAST TIME I VISITED "THE SILENT CIRCUS", IT WAS MICHAEL JACKSON'S RANCH. I GUESS I ARRIVED THERE A LITTLE TOO FUCKING LATE BECAUSE HIS DEATH HAS OFFICIALLY 'SILENCED' ALL BUSINESSES AT HIS LEGENDARY PLAYGROUND WHERE I HAD MY SCROTOMOUS JOYSTICK TOUCHED BY HALF-BLACK HALF-WHITE ALL-DEFORMED HUMANOID SPECIES JUST LIKE THE CEO HIMSELF! I'D HAVE TO SAY THE BEST RIDE THUSFAR, WAS A RIDE CALLED JANET JACKSON. I WAS GOING IN AND OUT OF THESE TUNNELS UNTIL A POOL OF LIQUID SQUIRTED ALL OVER ME. I PASSED OUT IN EXCITEMENT UNTIL DAYS AFTER WHEN I WOKE UP IN THE EMERGENCY RESPONSE TRAUMA UNIT, DYING OF AIDS!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE THE HELL AIDS CAME FROM. APPARENTLY IT WAS INTRODUCED TO THE HUMAN RACE AFTER SOME HORNY ASSHOLE FUCKED A "GREEN MONKEY" IN AFRICA. GO FUCKING FIGURE YOU VILE ASSHOLES ... AT LEAST IT WAS A "GREEN MONKEY", INDICATING THAT UNLIKE THE REST OF THE POPULATION AROUND HIM, THE PERPETRATING NIGGER HIMSELF WAS NOT A RACIST ONE. I REMEMBERED DAVE CHAPPELLE ONCE MADE A STAGE JOKE ABOUT HOW THIS SPECULATION COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE TRUE, CONSIDERING AS I QUOTE HIM, "NOBODY FUCKS A MONKEY ONE DAY AND THEN FUCK A HUMAN THE NEXT DAY, BECAUSE ONCE YOU FUCK A MONKEY, YOUR PREFERENCE OF SEXUALITY IS FIXED ON FUCKING MONKEYS. THIS STRICTLY RESTRICTS ANY CHANCE OF HAVING SEXUAL INTERACTIONS WITH THE HUMAN RACE." THEN THE CROWD APPLAUDS HIM, THINKING "WOW, THIS MEMBER OF THE BLACK NEGROID RACE IS ONE OF ACTUAL IMPRESSIVE LOGIC!" WRONG.

I STRONGLY REFUTE TO HIS ACADEMIC RESEARCH THESIS. WHY? BECAUSE ESPECIALLY IN A COUNTRY LIKE AFRICA, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN A MONKEY AND ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE BLACK RACE ANYWAYS?! THAT BIG SAVAGE NIGGER COULD HAVE JUST FUCKED A MONKEY THE FIRST DAY THINKING IT WAS HIS WIFE THEREFORE CONTRACTING AIDS, AND THEN FUCKED HIS WIFE THE NEXT DAY IN ORDER TO PRODUCE HIS EIGHTY-FIFTH OFFSPRING IN HIS COMMUNAL FAMILY! AND THEN HIS WIFE, BEING THE CHEATING FUCKING SKANK SHE IS, WENT ON AND SLEPT WITH THE MAILMAN WHO DELIVERS AFRICAN LETTERS WRITTEN IN HIEROGLYPHIC IMAGES (SEEING THAT MOST NIGGERS ARE ILLITERATE AND HAVE NO EFFECTIVE SYSTEM OF LITERACY). THE MAILMAN THEN JERKED OFF INTO EVERY SINGLE ENVELOPE IN HIS POSTAL OFFICE AND SPREAD AIDS ACROSS THE CONTINENT, INFECTING EVERYONE! NO! BAD JAMAL, BAD! GO BACK TO YOUR DOGPEN JAMAL, GROUNDED FOR THREE WEEKS WITHOUT TREATS!

MY THEORY? I BET IT WAS DAVE CHAPPELLE WHO FUCKED THAT GREEN MONKEY ANYWAYS, AND THEN REFUTING TO THE SCIENTIFIC THEORY IN ORDER TO PUT A CARPET OVER HIS HUMILIATING DEED. GOOD JOB YOU BIG FUCKING COVERUP FAILURE, YOUR ANIMALISTIC BEHAVIOURS MANIFEST THEMSELVES IN YOUR FUCKING VILE STAGE ACTS. GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE AND GO PERFORM ON TOP OF A RISING VOLCANO YOU ASSHOLE. AND TO THINK CONSPIRACY THEORISTS ARE SPECULATING THAT THE WESTERN GOVERNMENTS PRODUCED THIS INCURABLE DISEASE IN ORDER TO DESTROY AFRICA... HA. IF ONLY YOUR COUNTRY WAS THAT FUCKING BRILLIANT YOU HICKY WHITE TRASH FAGGOTS.